Bye 2018

Just like that it is 2019! I decided I could not end the year without a blog post so here I am typing away trying to decide if it was a good year or not!? Reflecting back 2018 did bring me a lot of joy.

We took our first ever vacation without kids and it did absolute wonders for our marriage and we had a blast. I think the best part of it though is that we paid for this vacation before we left so we are not going into 2019 with the debt of it. A vacation is so much more fun when it does not set you back finically. This also means though that we will have to live in these memories for awhile before we are able to retreat to some place warm again. Jordan and I both decided that this was the highlight of our year. #sorrykids #weloveyou

We also ended the year without kids. We celebrated our 11 year anniversary with an amazing 3 course meal at Decimal 81. Grandma volunteered to take the kids for the night and we very quickly said “YES!”

Over some really great eats we discussed the ups and the downs of 2018 and also had some laughs. It was a great time spent and I am so glad we decided to splurge and be fancy for a change.

I have spent the last couple of weeks feeling anxious after finding out my part time position would be terminated by the middle of January. This means I will no longer be working every second weekend and will be put back to casual. I have known this could be a possibility for the last month but when it became true I was heartbroken. The every second weekend worked out so well for my family; however this has given me time to reflect on my work life this past year. Which made me realize how stressed, anxious, and guilty I have felt. I realized I need stability in my life and that what matters most to me are these two.

I spent a very long time praying for exactly what I have now. So in 2019 I am choosing them, my kids. This does not mean I might not work or pursue a career outside the home. At this point I have no idea what my future holds. It just means I am putting them first in any decision I make. Jordan is working about 50 hours a week right now and I am so proud of how he has moved forward in his career. I often hear people talking about all the sacrifice it takes to be a mom. I know from the outside it looks like I am sacrificing a booming career to be with them but that is not how it feels. I have gained so much from being their Mom and I am truly in a space where I know I would never regret putting them first in any and every decision I make.

I am happy to say goodbye to 2018 and excited to see what is in store for 2019. After a deep conversation with my friend the other day as we both contemplate careers and where life will take us. She said “I think 2019 is going to be the best year of our lives!” and I could not agree more!

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